In defense.

 

 

Your eyes sweep across the room.
Overlooking every face, as they look for one.
They come to rest, on locating me.
I can feel your fixed gaze on me, while I look pointedly ahead.
Pretending to be oblivious.
Oblivious to you, studying all my trivialities.
Knowing every little smile that touches my lips, and every little twitch of my eyebrow, does not go unnoticed.
I pretend, to be unaware, of how everything I do, stirs emotions within you.
Of how, your eyes follow my gaze, trying to see what I'm seeing. Trying to feel what I feel.
I fail to see those eyes of yours. The fire in which has been doused, by my cold facade.
That fire of desire. Of longing. Longing to be with me.
I pretend, to not notice, how your lips curve into a hopeful smile, and how your eyes twinkle, when they meet mine.
For, in pretense, lies convenience.
I have walls built around myself.
A wall to protect that sacred space. That forbidden space.
That space, where indifference makes way for vulnerability.
That space, which has once been encroached and stamped upon.
I look at you, and smile apologetically, willing you to look away.
You don't.
You are perfect. You really are.
But you are just not him.