..and here we are.

It won't happen to me.

Welllll, and why won't it?

I'm..y'know, a good person..maybe?

Bullshit.
That halo around your head has been crushed to powder. That high, white horse you're riding on? Its hooves trampled all over it, as you looked down upon us mere mortals, pitying us and our petty existence.
You rode high, child. Galloped over mountains, tasted the sky, shone like the sun in all its glory.
Lucky as you were, you saw love. Felt it. True love, shining out of an oxytocin-pumped ass. Too bad it was blinding, crippling, and well, it just made you foolish.
You left, to always be held back.
You cried, to always be consoled.
You threw tantrums and got to sit on godly pedestals.
You loved, to get loved back. Fiercer by a million.
All that is gone now. The light is still shining, oxytocin-laden and blinding. Probably to someone with shades on.
While you, delusional princess, are right here with us mortals.
Leave all you want; the hole you leave shall be promptly filled.
Cry all you want. If you look carefully, you might just catch the glint of an ecstatic smirk through the tears.
You aren't on a pedestal, you're down there, slithering in dirt and venom.
Another number on a list.
Another tick mark across yet another name.
You can try to jump, save some dignity.
But you lack the sanity.
You will come back, like a moth to a flame.
And you will be burned.
Over and over and over again.

Fuck academia.
I'm outta here.

Bare to the bone

It's a content sleep in love.
Why wouldn't it be?
Dreams of clouds, kisses and rains.
Of the happy smile on your face.
Of gentlest hands and even gentler voices.
Soaked in warmth, in tangible love.
All your little talks, littler fears,
Baring your soul, slice by tiny slice.
I hold it dear, precious as it is,
Smiling as you smile, cringing as you cringe
Hanging onto every syllable,
As it smoothens every worry, ruffle by little ruffle.
A love so blatant, it's almost crass.
So intense, there's no denying it.
I rip my heart out and lay it out bare.
Leave it beating, out in the cold with yours.
But it's warmer there than it has ever been with me.
It's a content sleep in love.
Why wouldn't it be?

Disposed

They said I'll grow out of my clothes.

They said I'll grow out of my childish tantrums.

They said I'll grow out of my little toys, my little fears. 

People, they said, are here to stay.

The air keeps getting thicker; my breath raspy.

The world is grey. So are the people.

And in the millions of greys, are a handful of reds.

The reds, I love.

Unconditionally, they said. 

Forever they will stay. Without a doubt.

But the reds don't seem so red anymore.

Maybe they're turning grey, or maybe it's just me.

The air is thick with grey and red fumes. Mixing and twirling. 

It makes it's way towards me, clouding my vision, my head and my heart.

I'm breathless now.

I close my eyes and fall with a thud.

I see blue.

I smile.